People often tend to confuse love making
with having sex. Love making is a mental act while having sex is a
physical one. There is an important distinction between the two.
The
latter precedes the former. If the former is incomplete or uninformed,
the latter is devoid of any interlinking sensibilities. In the words of
the famous American actor Woody Allen, “Sex alleviates tension, love
causes it”.
Apparently he wants to
say that for something to be alleviated; you first have to cause it.
That is where love making comes to picture, or rather it can be said
that it is the picture itself, and the act of releasing tension
would, thus, solely be dependent on how much of it was caused in the
first place.
Many Indians accord greater importance to the latter than the former, whereas it should be the other way round.
A Sexual Wellbeing survey done some time
back among 26 countries revealed that 48 percent of Indians do not have
ample information available on both love making and having sex. This is
that chunk of population which does not have enough information on
intimacy and its aftermath being an emotional act in its entirety.
`The
control centre of healthy sexuality lies in a sexual mind than a sexual
body. The problem compounds itself when the modern man does everything
to tone up the body than tone up the mind.`
Emotions
have an organic nature than a physical one; when the whole act weighs
towards the physical side, it ceases to be tasteful. It becomes a
selfish act of taking rather than giving pleasure to one’s partner.
Given
the very organic nature of love making, this is one reason why ancient
Indian scriptures including Ayurveda and Vātsyāyana’s Kama Sutra that,
apart from discussing the spiritual side of love, discusses the gracious
and virtuous side of love making and making sex.
Not
many people know that Kama Sutra has ten chapters dedicated to
caressing, kissing, types of embraces, means to stimulate desire, biting
etc and the final act. Many researchers believe that such love making
is made possible mostly by people whose ‘organic sides’ of lives is
preserved.
The organic part of a
sexual act is controlled by brain; perhaps one reason why they say that
it is between ears that the sex lies than between the legs. The
control centre of healthy sexuality lies in a sexual mind than a sexual
body. The problem compounds itself when the modern man does everything
to tone up the body than tone up the mind.
This is why sexual dysfunction
and burnout has become common nowadays. Research reveals that this is
comparable to modern man’s forefathers. And it is despite the fact that
healthcare facilities have evolved over the years. But the focus has
been more on inorganic side than the organic one.
Age-old
systems to strengthen organic side of wellbeing have been pushed aside
and unnatural methods of strengthening p – for example arousal
–encouraged. These have been seen doing ten harms for one good and
effects are often short-lived.
Take,
for example, male aphrodisiacs – modern synthetic drugs used to
stimulate sexual desire. Sexual desire – yes these drugs do increase
temporarily but do not trigger the passion needed to arouse willingness
for love making, which is essential for a fulfilling act.
Leave
alone dozens of side effects; the most notorious ones being impaired
and blurred vision, photophobia, nasal congestion and in certain cases
loss of peripheral vision.
Regular
use of organic aphrodisiacs, on the other hand, provides lasting effects
without any adverse effects on the body. “This is why”, remarks a 2013
study published in Pharmacognosis Review, “the hunt for natural
supplements for satisfying sexual encounters is being intensified”.
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